According to Gordon Gallup, a SUNY-Albany psychologist, the best way to cure morning sickness when you’re pregnant is by ingesting what made you sick in the first place: SEMEN!
That’s right. If you want to quit throwing up all the time during your pregnancy, you should have sperm on tap at all times. But not just anyone’s semen; apparently, it’s only the juice of the impregnator that will get the job done.
Contrary to earlier beliefs that food is what makes pregnant women sick, Gallup theorizes that the body’s not doing so hot because the baby, being made up partially of a foreign material, is causing the sickness. So if we stick to “hair of the dog,” the best way to ease that nausea is to swallow some jizz first thing in the morning and your day is set. However, if you’ve received in vitro fertilization by someone who isn’t your husband because his sperm is bunk, then you’re kinda screwed.
Why? Well as Gallup also theorizes, a major component to morning sickness is the exposure to foreign sperm, as in sperm that was not part of the conception process. What this means is that if you’re carrying a baby that is not the genetic result of your husband or other partner, you’re more likely to suffer from morning sickness because A) it’s part of being preggers, and B) you’ve got foreign semen entering your body — should you continue to engage in sex while pregnant.
BOTTOMLINE: If you’re pregnant and your husband is the dad of your child, you should be giving lots of head and swallowing as much as possible to nip that nausea in the bud. If your husband is not the blood father of your kid, then you should steer clear of him and any bodily secretions he may be trying to throw your way. LMBAO!
