You Date The First Guy Who Asks You Out
When you’re fresh out of a relationship, it may be hard to be by yourself. Lonely nights leave you feeling restless, and while you may not miss your ex, you might miss the feeling of being wanted or in love. So in order to get that good-loving-feeling back, you find yourself drawn to the first man – ANY man – who shows you some attention. Don’t fall into that trap. Realize that feelings of loneliness are natural…and temporary. Don’t date just anyone just so you’ll feel whole again. Give it some time and don’t sell yourself short. The loneliness will pass.
Also, some women date the first man who comes along as a way to subconsciously “get back” at her ex. If you find yourself with someone who you normally wouldn’t give the time of day to – or you date a friend or an enemy of your ex, then you’re “revenge dating” – not dating because you’re over your ex. While it may feel good at the time, your “I’ll show you I’m still hot” attitude will wear off, and he might not even care. You’re just wasting your time.
You Have Friends…With Benefits
Some people try to heal their broken heart through having sex with someone new. Lots of it. While you may not be thinking about starting a new relationship, sex helps to take your mind off your ex. Some even mistake sex for love…which is where it can get tricky. Being intimate with someone new right after a breakup may confuse matters more because the line between simply being physical vs. being intimate can get blurry. Next thing you know, someone catches feelings, the other doesn’t, and you find yourself in another potentially hurtful situation.
If you both are in agreement that it’s just sex and you’re having fun without worrying about where the relationship is going, then fine…rock out! But if one of you is just focusing on sex while the other is focusing on being serious, it’s time to end the arrangement until you both are on the same page.
You’re ALWAYS Talking About Your Ex
If you can’t keep your ex’s name out of your mouth, even though you’re in a new relationship, chances are you’re not over your him and you rushed into this new relationship too soon. When you’re truly over someone, they don’t enter your thoughts often enough for you to talk about them…over and over again. And if you’re talking to your new man about your ex, then that’ll send a message to him that your ex may still pose a threat. Sure, you may simply think that you’re being open and honest with your new guy about your ex so that he knows you a little better, or you’re trying to convince him that you’ve moved on. But stop fooling yourself…and him. You clearly still have feelings for your ex because otherwise you wouldn’t be talking about him to anyone who’ll listen. If he’s still on your mind that much, you shouldn’t be in a new relationship.
You’re a Serial Dater
Ever start dating someone new only to have your friends wonder what happened to “ole what’s his face?” If you run through men like underwear, then you might need to slow down a bit.
Some people can’t stand the idea of being single and don’t take the time to reflect on past relationships gone wrong. Instead, they date man after man, always on the prowl looking for their next boyfriend. Heartbreaks can leave you feeling vulnerable and insecure, so you seek attention to reassure yourself that you still got it going on. Even while in a new relationship, some still feel the need to keep their eyes and their options open…just in case. If this is you, consider yourself a repeat offender when it comes to rebounding.
You Still Fantasize About Getting Back With Your Ex
Do you still keep old love letters from your ex around and read them from time to time? Still have a photo of him on your desk? Do you dream about what it’ll be like when you “accidentally” bump into him at his favorite sports bar…and he professes his love for you and begs you to take him back? If you’re keeping hope alive, then you’re not over him…and the new dude you’re dating doesn’t stand a chance. Whether a real chance of a reconciliation is possible or not, no one should be dating anyone new until those feelings and hopes are resolved. And if you’re fantasizing about your ex while in bed with your current lover, then you’re REALLY wrong. Your new man can’t fill the void left by your ex, and getting back with your ex may never happen. Either move on, or get help…but leave others out of it until you do.
You’re Simply Passing Time
Some people find themselves in rebound situations as a way to NOT have to deal with the end of their old relationship alone. Misery loves company, so you find some poor, unsuspecting man to go to the movies with, to dinner with and to cuddle with simply to pass the time – only to dump him once you’ve gotten over your ex. You’re not serious about the current relationship at all, and the new guy is just a male companion to go on dates with. He’s there for comfort and appearances only, not for love – and you don’t really care if you lose him or not. This is totally unfair to him…and to you. Either focus on your new man…or set him free. Either way, let go and live life in the present instead of holding on to the past…and find happiness within. SOURCE
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[RoDigga's Sex.Love.Heartache Chronicles] Are You A Rebound Queen? 6 Ways To Tell You Might Be Movin’ Too Fast! was originally published on zhiphopcleveland.com
