Could you be driving a perfectly good relationship onto a crash course? If you’re participating any of the following five romance-foiling pitfalls, the answer is yes. Instead of steering toward failure, you can increase your chances for a long-term love affair by avoiding these common self-destructive practices.
1. You’re frequently disappointed by your partner’s gifts or gestures.
He might not have the greatest taste in jewelry or the latest fashions, and consequently his gifts may fall short of your stylish expectations. But in matters of the heart, it really is the thought that counts. If you want to stay in good favor, be thankful of the effort. After all, nothing discourages gift-giving or spontaneous romantic gestures like real or perceived criticism from the recipient.
2. You focus on his faults.
Even Mr. Right is not going to be perfect. In fact, far from it. A solid relationship is not about verbally beating his flaws out of him any more than it is about him expecting you to change into his “dream girl.” The secret is to learn to love even the things you hate about him—or at least recognize that they are to be embraced as part of the gloriously imperfect package. If you can accept his less savory qualities, he’s more likely to be able to return the courtesy—and that’s an indication of true compatibility. Besides, if it’s the real deal, even his faults may grow into endearing idiosyncrasies.
3. You’re too available or have drastically changed your routine for him.
It might be tempting to spend all your free time with your significant other, especially during the “honeymoon stage.” But losing yourself in your loved one invariably results in backlash, which might include bickering or a loss of interest on his part. Schedule a girl’s night out with your gal pals, don your hottest LBD and sky-scraping heels and leave your man on his own for the night. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Plus, maintaining your own identity and routine lets him know you that while you want him in your life, you don’t need him—independence and confidence never stops being attractive.
4. You’ve stopped getting glam for your dates…ever.
As a relationship becomes more serious, what you lose in excitement you make up for in intimacy. There’s something to be said for a cozy movie night at home in which you wear his favorite T-shirt. However, taking the time to don your hottest date night dress or throwing on new lingerie, may breathe new life in your relationship and remind you both of your exciting beginning.
5. You discuss your relationship too much.
Once you’ve moved past the casual dating stage to full-on coupledom, it might be tempting to talk about your relationship more. Beware of discussing the ins and outs of your courtship, asking repeatedly if he is “OK” or obsessing on your relationship’s rough edges. Not to say you shouldn’t have an open communication, but make sure you’re living in the moment and keeping things fun and light on a regular basis. After all, you get what you focus on.