At this point of the pandemic, my significant other has seen every version of my natural hair that there is. And when I wake up in the morning, chances are, my bun is spilling over because my bonnet or scarf had fallen off.
While myself and many women can attest to waking up to our scarf on the next pillow, this Twitter user revealed she wakes up before her boyfriend to tend to her hair for that “woke up like this” effect.
Software engineer and proud member of #BlackTechTwitter user @whereisindya, posed a question on social media that led to a long thread of both women and men chiming in about bonnet behavior or lack their of.
In short, men revealed they really don’t care.
But there was one man, who admitted he appreciates a woman “fixing her hair” for him before he wakes.
To be transparent, I can relate to Indya’s sentiments. Before my natural hair liberation and abandoning what I thought I knew as a young woman, I certainly played into certain “pick me” stereotypes, which included always wanting to look my absolute best at all times for my ex-boyfriend. (Girl, I switched men a long time ago and he dun seen it all). My ex had only seen my natural hair (no weave or wig) on possibly one or two occasions. And I damn sure wasn’t wearing a bonnet or scarf during any sexual activity (I’ll still snatch it off before sex). I wanted to maintain this image of perfection and sexy because I thought keeping a man or doing everything in my power to be “picked” revolved around catering to what I thought a man wanted. Call it an awakening, but I made myself a priority before what my man thought of me and soon something as simple as wearing a bonnet in front of him didn’t seem that “terrifyin
Here’s what #BlackTwitter had to say about wearing bonnets.
Twitter Thread Questions Do You Wear Your Bonnet In Front Of Your Man? was originally published on hellobeautiful.com
1. He Should Love You Regardless
if you don’t put that bonnet on. and if he real he gone have you a satin pillow case too. real recognize real. if he can’t handle you at ya bonnet he don’t deserve you.— wide drexler (@pants_so_short) May 18, 2020
2. Does He Care About Your Edges?
If you can’t wear your bonnet around a man, he don’t care about you, your hair, or your edges and he ain’t the one for you.— im just the bitch who makes the biscuits (@shtscrzy) May 18, 2020
3. No Bonnet?
Girl black men EXPECT a bonnet.— No, this is Patrick (@Itsbigmamacane) May 18, 2020
4. Protect That Hair Style
Okay! I tried to go to bed without one he said girl you need to wrap your hair or put that bonnet on 😅 you ain’t pay all that money to not protect that hairstyle baby— Black Bonnie 🖤✨ (@_Kashhhhhh) May 18, 2020
5. They’ve Seen Worse
I done seen wigs taken off and put nback on you good baby— Bruce Mapp (@BruceMapp18) May 18, 2020
Love yourself & whatever man comes around will too. This sound a bit insecure, much love✨— KryPtoNite 🧚🏾♀️ (@eurcakane) May 18, 2020
Terrified?!? Girl, you better put that damn bonnet on! pic.twitter.com/BupLSp1VS0— Emily E. ★ (@EmzzzE_x3) May 18, 2020
8. No Cotton Pillow Cases
Girl even if I’m just having a one night stand and staying the night, I’m bringing a durag or bonnet. We ain’t ruinin’ these ends on nobody’s cotton pillowcases— Dyra Banks (@DyraBanks) May 18, 2020
9. Male Bonnets
Hell, one time I came home and my ex had my bonnet on. Long story short, he decided to use my expensive soothing peppermint hair moisturizer. 😳😩— That_aint_enouph (@Make_it_enough) May 18, 2020